Cathy Cripps
ADOPTED CHILDREN
Couples around the world have opened their hearts and homes to children through the adoption process. Just as with a biological baby, parents are just as eager to celebrate the life of their newly adopted baby. In fact, a baby shower for an adopted baby is ideal not only for the parent’s sake but it also begins the process of bonding for the baby.
With this type of baby shower, timing is crucial. If you were the host, you would need to work with the expectant parents to organize the shower around the time the child would be arriving. The parents may choose to wait a month or so after bringing the child home, allowing him or her to become acclimated to this new life. Therefore, always be respectful of the parent’s wish.
Another thing to consider with an adopted baby shower is that because the mother is not or has not been pregnant, the types of games chosen would be very different from those played at traditional baby showers. However, that does not mean you cannot use some of the games used in this guide.
A child is nothing like a racing car. . . . Souping up babies doesn’t work that way. The child is what she is. There is a certain irreducible if elusive core. Pushing, pulling, stretching, and shrinking will not really change it. There may be spectacular interim results. The baby may say the alphabet before she walks, master two-times or even ten-times table at three. In the long run, however, this forced precocity tends to be irrelevant. . . . Whatever gains there are become unimportant. The losses can be irrevocable.
—Stella Chess (20th century)
Additionally, the adopted child may be older than a newborn. In this case, you can simply have a shower, still celebrating the child’s life while modifying activities slightly. The key is to work closely with the adoptive parents!
SECOND/THIRD CHILD
Typically, a baby shower is thrown for the first-born but today, we see baby showers for second, third, and even fourth children. In truth, there is no right or wrong, simply what you want to do. After all, the second baby’s life is just as wonderful as the first baby’s life.
While this type of baby shower is not as common, if someone offers to host a shower for you, accept and be gracious. If you have other children, then you know how quickly clothing and toys can wear out. Therefore, if the children are spaced several years apart, chances are new items are needed and would be appreciated.
Another possible scenario is that the couple has a second or third child more than six, seven, or eight years apart. In this case, technology and baby items have changed significantly so for fun and safety purposes, a second or third shower may be needed to replace outdated items.
Somebody who should have been born
is gone.
Yes, woman, such logic will lead
to loss without death. Or say what you meant,
you coward . . . this baby that I bleed.
—Anne Sexton (1928–1974)
While there remains, many unanswered questions about the history of baby showers we do know this is a beautiful time of life and celebration. For this reason, it is unlikely that baby showers will ever stop being an important part of our culture.
©2004 Babyshowermoments , All rights Reserved
About the Author
Cathy is the owner of Baby Shower Moments and the Author of Baby Shower Moments A to Z Guide for hosting that perfect Baby Shower Party. Visit Cathy for all your baby shower ideas tips and tricks